Safety Planning Guide

Think about the most urgent concern: danger at home, being followed, a place to stay, access to money, or a child who needs help. You can discuss that one concern with an advocate without committing to a particular decision. Ask about the service's confidentiality limits and whether calls, messages, or follow-up contact could be visible to someone else.

A written plan is optional. A note, email, photo, printed checklist, or app can expose information if the abusive person can access it. Before saving anything, decide with a trusted advocate where it could be kept more safely, or whether to avoid creating a copy at all.

If possible, identify a route out and a place you could move to that has an exit and fewer potential weapons. Think about how to reach a phone when you need help. These are options to adapt, not requirements you must meet.

With a trusted person, agree on a signal and what you want them to do if they receive it—for example, call emergency services or arrange a pickup. Do not assume they should confront the abusive person. Consider a backup if the first person cannot respond. An advocate can help you plan around the layout of your home, mobility needs, children, and the abusive person's patterns.

If you are considering leaving, plan a destination, transport, and a backup if the first option falls through. Ask a shelter directly about current space, intake, costs, children, pets, disability access, medications, and transport. A referral is a place to ask; it is not a reserved bed.

Leaving can change or increase the risks you face, including after the relationship ends. Discuss timing and possible reactions with an advocate. If danger is immediate, do not delay getting help to finish a checklist, save money, or collect belongings.

Useful items may include keys, a way to contact help, medication and necessary medical equipment, accessible transport arrangements, money you can safely access, and clothes. For children, consider their medication and comfort items.

If available without increasing danger, bring identification, relevant court orders, health information, and copies of important financial or immigration papers. You do not need a complete bag before seeking help. Consider where a bag or copies could be stored without exposing your plan; shared phone photos or cloud storage may not be private.

Incognito mode can limit some browser records, but it does not stop stalkerware or protect accounts that another person can access. Closing a tab does not erase the visit. If possible, use a device and account the abusive person has not accessed, and avoid signing a safer device into shared cloud or browser accounts.

Changing a password, stopping location sharing, removing a tracker, or deleting an account can alert the abusive person, change their behavior, or destroy evidence. Plan the timing and likely response with an advocate before making changes when possible. Unusual battery drain alone is not proof of monitoring, and a normal-looking phone does not establish that it is private.

A different phone still needs a safer account, billing arrangement, recovery email, and contact method. Lifeline may help with service costs, including a separate temporary survivor route, but it does not automatically provide a free device or separate an existing shared plan. Ask the company about device costs, account access and any line-separation request.

Shared banking access, payment apps, transaction histories, mailed cards, and email or text alerts can reveal spending or a new account. Before opening or changing an account, ask the institution how statements, cards, recovery messages, and notifications will be delivered and who can see them. A separate account is not automatically a secret account.

If saving money is possible, consider an amount and storage method that will not expose your plan. Ask an advocate about local financial support and benefit applications, and confirm each program's requirements. Avoid sending a new account's alerts to an email address or phone the abusive person can monitor.

Give children age-appropriate options for reaching a safer place and contacting a trusted adult. Their role is to get help or get to safety, not to intervene in violence. Reassure them that the abuse is not their fault.

Having no custody order does not establish permission to take, hide, or relocate children. Rules can depend on the state, legal parentage, pending proceedings, and existing orders. If possible, get advice from a lawyer familiar with domestic violence and custody before relocating or withholding access, including within the same state. If there is immediate danger, seek emergency help and ask urgently about options to protect the children.

If there is someone you trust at work, discuss only what you are comfortable sharing and ask who else would receive the information. Options to discuss include a designated contact, screening calls, a different workstation or schedule, and someone accompanying you to transport.

Agree on what should happen if the abusive person calls or appears, and how to reach emergency help. Workplace staff should plan with you rather than make assumptions about what you need. Available accommodations and legal protections depend on the job, employer and applicable law; ask about the actual process.

Continue to assess contact methods, routines, appointments, transport, and who knows your location. With an advocate, consider whether an address confidentiality program is available and useful for you. It is not a substitute for thinking about where your address appears in accounts, documents and shared information.

For children, coordinate with the school or caregiver about applicable orders, authorized pickup and a response if the abusive person arrives. Ask a lawyer about unresolved custody or protection-order questions. Tell trusted people how you want them to respond to contact or threats. Review the plan when your housing, work, family arrangements or the abusive person's behavior changes.

Ask the shelter whether it can accommodate your particular animals or refer you to temporary care. If necessary, ask a trusted person or veterinarian about alternatives. Confirm space, transport, cost and how your location will be protected before relying on an arrangement.

If safe and practical, bring the animal's medication, food, veterinary records and ownership information. Discuss microchip contacts and other records that could reveal your location. Pet acceptance and financial help vary; a directory or grant program does not guarantee a place or payment.